"The Three Lights and the Internet"

by Cassandra

Don’t you just hate it when you can’t connect?

Well, here is my attempt at humor with the Three Lights. Please R & R!!

***

"Have you typed the password already?"

"Well duh!"

"Is the username correct?"

"Yep."

"Is the modem on and connected to a telephone line?"

"Do you think I’m that idiotic that I don’t make sure of those things before I click the damned thing?"

"Well Seiya, with you I’ll never know."

"Oh haha, so have you figured out why it’s not connecting?"

"Sorry, can’t help you."

"Argh!" In a fit of frustration, Seiya Kou began to tear at his dark hair as he stomped around the living room in a dance not much differing from a voodoo doctor’s. "And I thought you knew everything Taiki!" He exploded as he pointed an accusing finger at the most intelligent Light.

"I resent that Seiya." Taiki answered with a scowl as he returned to his laptop to continue on writing his poetry. "I may know a lot of things but that doesn’t mean that I know everything about this planet, much more how their Internet services work. They do not exactly come out in textbooks you know."

"Argh!!" Seiya screamed again, scratching his mass of dark hair this time.

"QUIET!!" A loud yell came from an open door and there was Yaten. He had his hands positioned on his waist with an irritated frown on his face. "What the hell is wrong with you people? Can’t you respect someone’s right to sleep around here?!"

"Oh shut up Yaten!" Seiya snapped as he sat down on his swiveling chair in front of the computer and began clicking the mouse with no clear reason. "If you can’t contribute anything to help me with my problem, just shut up."

Yaten rolled his green eyes heavenward as he watched their dark-haired leader try with all his might to manage to control the damned thing. "Are you still trying to connect?" He let out a cat-like yawn as he walked closer to look over Seiya’s shoulder though he didn’t even have any interest on what the other was doing. "Give it up Seiya. There’s nothing you could do."

Seiya didn’t hear Yaten as threw his hands up and let out a howl of agony. He swiveled around on his chair and went to a corner to sulk.

Yaten peered at the monitor to find the words "Unable to make a Dial-up Connection. Check your password and try again" on the screen.

Behind him, in his dark little corner, Seiya was muttering nonsense to himself as he sat there with his back straight, his arms crossed over his chest, and his legs separated in a square. "Damn stupid…when I get my hands on that provider I’ll make him eat his ass…I’ll kill him…I’ll make him bleed…Oh yeah, I’ll make him eat his shit like I did when I believed him and bought that stupid pre-paid card…" When his eye began to twitch, Yaten decided to speak.

"Ne Seiya," Yaten began as he neared his fellow Light with a phone in his hand. "have you tried calling the provider to ask if anything is wrong with their systems or something?"

Taiki looked up from what he was doing with a haunted look on his face. He pointed at Yaten momentarily before saying, "Now why didn’t I think of that." In a hushed tone before sinking back into his own world like nothing happened.

Seiya was still doing his insane man thing and shook his head. "Nope…No!…I’ll never call that bastard!…he’ll think he was so important…No…Did he realize that Odango might be e-mailing me today huh?…Did he consider that?..Noooo! He was too wrapped up with himself…" he was beginning to chuckle in a high pitch and was moving backward and forward, swinging his body like a mad man. A strange glint was in his eye.

Yaten sighed and proceeded to punch the number of the customer service of the Internet provider. He didn’t want to do it in the first place but to end this agony, he would have to take matters into his own hands.

"Hello? Is this Quicky Internet?…I would like to ask something…Yes, well you see our password wasn’t accepted…The user name is uh, 64f…yeah, f as in falcon…vt, victory, talons…y, yeti, 76…Yeah…That’s it…Okay, I’ll wait…"

Taiki raised him an eyebrow. "What are they going to do?"

Yaten glanced at Seiya who was still mad sulking and answered, "They were gonna check if the error registered in their computer."

"Oh."

"Yes?" Yaten said into the phone. "Oh, it didn’t register…How can that be?…The number couldn’t be right?…Okay, I’ll give it a try…Arigato gozaimasu." The silver-haired Light put the phone down and made his way to the computer.

"You were awfully nice to that ‘Earthling’." Taiki noted.

Yaten didn’t bother to look at his fellow Light as he answered. "I was just trying to get this over with, I’m losing my sleep and I love my sleep. Is Seiya still doing his creepy monologue."

"Yep," Taiki responded. "But he’s just creepy right now. No monologue going."

Sure enough, Seiya had stopped and was just staring at the wall in front of him like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

Little by little, Yaten began to look pissed as he saw what the screen said in response to his actions. He pushed away from the keyboard and dialed again.

"Hello?…I filed a complaint a while ago, the one with the password not being connected?…It’s still not working…You’re going to try to connect there?…Okay, the username is 64fvty76…Our phone number is 4758561…Yaten, Yaten Kou…"

There was a long pause and Taiki began to get suspicious. He looked over his shoulder to find Yaten still holding the phone against his ear but the look on his face spoke bloody murder. The hothead was in serious rage.

"Look lady, I am not fooling with you…I AM Yaten Kou!…Yeah, of the Three Lights!…Damn you this isn’t a prank call!…What do you mean if I were really Yaten Kou I wouldn’t be so rude? Do you even KNOW the real Yaten Kou?!…Of course you don’t so just shut up and do something about my problem!…Hello? Hello? BITCH!"

Before Yaten could make some real destruction, Taiki stepped up and grabbed the phone from the enraged Light’s hand.

"Maybe I should be the one making the call." Taiki said calmly as he began to dial the number again.

Yaten began to get the same mad glint in his eye that Seiya had earlier as he looked at the phone like he wanted to eat it. "That bitch…that bitch hung up on me. On Yaten Kou! HOW DARE SHE?!"

"Why don’t you join Seiya on his corner and vent it all out." Taiki suggested at the same time the operator answered.

Taiki talked with the operator on what is problem with the Internet was and was helped at the utmost by the polite operator. It may have something do with the fact that he didn’t use his real name like Yaten did. In the end however, there was nothing the customer service could do.

"Hmm…" The analytical Light sat in front of the computer and made a new Dial-Up Connection for Quicky Internet. When he came to the box where he had to put the number of the computer they were going to dial, he noticed something.

Finishing the settings, he made a shortcut and clicked the icon to connect.

After a few seconds, a miracle happened.

He swiveled around on the chair to look at his two brooding bandmates. He removed his glasses. "Gentlemen, we are now on-line."

Something in the air seemed to click when Taiki said these words.

Seiya looked at Taiki. So did Yaten.

In a flash they were in front of Taiki, looking over his shoulder to look at the screen to see if he wasn’t fooling.

He wasn’t.

YOU ARE NOW CONNECTED TO QUICKY INTERNET.

"How did you…" Seiya didn’t know if he could continue.

"Well Seiya it seems you made a mistake in typing the number of the computer you’re dialing to. You have to type the number according to how it is listed in the card. You forgot to put a dash in the middle of two numbers." Taiki explained.

"That's it? That’s why it wasn’t connecting?" Seiya looked like he was going to start scratching his head again, but before he could begin Yaten screamed a blood-curdling scream and grabbed the other by the neck.

"YOU!!" Yaten screamed as he began to shake and choke, not caring that Seiya was beginning to look purple and was prying at the fingers that held on to his neck desperately. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!! I’M GOING TO KILL YOUUUUUUUU!!!"

As the other two were making chaos behind him, Taiki was already checking his e-mail.

"An e-mail from Ami. What could she be sending me this time?" The Third Light clapped with glee. "I love the Internet." He chortled.

owari