*-----[ Supernova ]-----*

Chapter III

The next morning was a gray one. That was unusual because the sun had been so vibrant lately. The weather had matched Usagi's mood perfectly.

Usagi sat at the view of her window, staring out at the way the gray clouds touched the tops of the buildings. They seemed to pierce the cottonballs above them. She had a troubled look on her face and didn't seem to notice anything else around her.

The situation bothered her too much last night. The way Seiya was carrying on, complete with his physical condition, made it serious.

[….Odango, no. You're in danger--….]

Those words kept repeating themselves in her head. And the look on Seiya's face was pure fear. It was etched on his face in so fine a detail, it scared her.

Usagi didn't know what to do. Luna was away, her friends were probably doing their own thing, Mamo-chan……….Mamo-chan……… She pushed that thought away, even if it was weighted by sorrow. She didn't need it now, something else was happening.

Not being able to sleep last night, Usagi had been up for awhile now. Her thoughts were consuming her so she decided to get up. [ I tend to think too much when sitting for too long….] She mused as she put a hand to her forehead.

Seiya groaned at the feeling of waking up again. The night's rest he received made all his muscles scream at him. He shifted uncomfortably and realized he was still here. Last night wasn't a dream and he really was in Usagi's bedroom.

The place was very quiet, aside from the occasional sounds from the street outside. There was no sunlight even if the blinds weren't drawn. It was a grim morning.

[ Get out….now…..] The voice of instinct would not shut up. It's been with him ever since the beginning and Seiya was not about to ignore it again like he did the night before. He never knew he had such a lack of willpower when in Usagi's presence.

Seiya looked around, the dizzying feeling was still swirling within him. He was aware that maybe he needed more rest but logic didn't feature in his rash decision. Quickly and forcefully, Seiya swung his legs over to the side of the bed and got up.

Ignoring his own wince, Seiya spotted both his pants and boxers lying on the chair not far away from the door. From the looks of it, it looked newly washed, despite the numerous rips and tears. He grabbed both articles of clothing and put them on hurriedly.

Seiya glanced at the clock. It was early. [ …..If I could just get away……I could have a head start……] he thought, as he fumbled the button of his pants.

But his shirt was still missing. Whether or not Usagi was here, she was probably busy and she could never see him leave. That was the conclusion he decided upon.

Seiya chose to ignore the stabbing pain that tugged at his heart. He couldn't let his feelings get in the way of what was right. He had to leave…….in order to protect her because…….he……. Seiya desperately pushed that aside.

He swallowed a growing lump in his throat and peeked out of the doorway. The laundry basket was only down the hall and his shirt was right on top of the pile.

Usagi was in the kitchen making a mug of hot chocolate. She decided she would go and check on Seiya if he was awake and bring it to him.

The young woman emptied the contents of the packet into the mug and stirred it thoroughly. Keeping the spoon, she picked up the mug and headed for the hall.

Meanwhile, Seiya hurriedly ran down the hall without a sound. The laundry basket was coming closer as he reached out to grab his shirt.

With the laundry basket almost at her feet, Usagi was about the turn the corner when unfortunately, she crashed into a running Seiya. They both felt the collision and found each other's mouths wide open as the hot chocolate flew through the air and landed with a crash. The brown liquid was all over the floor and the mug shattered to pieces.

Both of them immediately knelt down to pick up the remains.

" Odango…Odango I'm sorry I….." Seiya stammered, as his fingers tried to collect the mug's broken parts.

Usagi was doing the same." No, Seiya please. I'm sorry, I didn't see you coming. Please don't, it's my fault. I didn't look where I was going." She looked up at him. Seiya looked positively rattled the way he was trying to gather the parts among the brown liquid. It's like he was scared to make her angry, scared to disappoint her…..

She hurriedly got up and fetched a rag. Seiya watched as she mopped up the mess and took the broken pieces from his hands.

Seiya was pulling on his shirt when Usagi came back. She looked at him once and went over quickly to stop him.

" Seiya, what are you doing ?" She asked him straight out. Her voice was loud, clear and mixed with demand and alarm.

He refused to look her. He couldn't. Seiya knew all too well that if he took one look into her eyes, he would break and not be able to reach the door.

" Seiya !" Usagi protested, a panic started to swirl in her stomach." Seiya, please listen to me !"

Seiya gritted his teeth tightly with the threat of breakdown." I--have to get out of here." He told her." I have to get away, it's too dangerous."

" What ? What is ?" she asked him. Her eyes were begging for answers because his enigmatic responses were raising too many questions. Usagi had to know, she wanted know." Seiya please, I want to help you."

He stopped when she said the word "help". He shut his eyes tightly. [ No one can help me.] Seiya inhaled sharply and turned to face her.

The look on Seiya's face was devastation. Usagi felt so helpless, she was almost trembling. All she wanted was to tell him he was safe now. She stepped forward," Seiya, let….me….help you….please." The glimmer in Usagi's eyes made Seiya curse mentally as he tried to hide the tears that were about to spill. He looked away from her again.

Usagi only did what she could do. The anxiety of her questions and worry of Seiya permitted her to do so. Not only that……Usagi wanted him to stay. It was a strange but strong urge that she couldn't pinpoint. There were no explanations. Four years of silent need and loneliness had taken its toll on her, bringing her to this spot. Seiya was leaving her again and Usagi wanted to make it stop. She wanted all the pain to stop. And so, Usagi reached over and took his hand.

Seiya felt the cool smoothness of Usagi's fingers slip delicately between his palm and fingers. A spark of surprise shot through him like a bullet as her touch sent a raging shiver up his spine and to the rest of his body. [ Odango…..why do you have to make this so hard ? ] He ruefully bit his lip.

Automatically, his hand closed tightly around Usagi's hand. There was something so desperate about Seiya's grip, Usagi could feel it. Then she pulled him towards her into an embrace.

Seiya was already powerless the moment she touched his hand. He could do no more while in the delicate barrier of her arms. He wanted to run, he wanted to scream and he wanted to let go of his sorrow.

He buried his face between her shoulder and neck as his arms circled her waist tightly. Seiya squeezed his eyes shut, trying to forget the years worth of hard survival and pain, and his terrible losses. Seiya clung to her for dear life as he struggled to fight the overflow of his emotions.

Usagi soothingly held him with the same security. It was almost as if it was too much for her and mentally, she could feel his pain. She wanted to take it away……the way he took it away from her four years ago.

* * * * *

It had been silent for awhile when they had both just stayed enclosed by each other. Neither one of them seemed to want to let go. Seiya wanted all the fire in his chest to be soothed by the feel of Usagi's arms. It was comfort that he hadn't had in the longest measure.

In that time, Usagi felt how hard Seiya was trying to mask everything that was pouring out all at once. The grief that he had shown her was only part of what he was enduring as life. Usagi felt him suppress a tremble a couple of times. He was so vulnerable…..so much like a child and easy to break.

Seiya's head was still rested against her neck. His eyes were half-open, but now with his breathing calmed down he spoke," You want to know."

Usagi felt the rumble of his voice against her and the melancholy that accompanied it. They had been silent for so long, she didn't expect him to speak. Nevertheless, she felt herself nod and barely whisper a single "yes".

Slowly, Usagi felt Seiya detach himself from her. The tangle of their limbs loosened to a comfortable space between them. They both were still sitting on the floor and near the sofa.

Seiya sat in front of her with his eyes hiding no lies, only baring truth." The rebuilding of Kinmonku flourished after we left four years ago. You could just feel the joy flow through you. Everyone was at the climax of their happiness the moment the final declaration was made at the completion of reconstruction."

At that point, Usagi saw Seiya's face twist. He gave a bitter chuckle." Everything seemed too perfect but we wanted to believe it this time. This time we wanted it to be true. A planet ruled by fine and gracious authority. But there's too much irony."

" Somewhere deep inside me I knew that discord wouldn't leave us alone. But I wanted that to be a lie. Unfortunately, that gut feeling was right and I cursed it. Kinmonku is nothing but dust and debris, floating among the other planets of our galaxy and along with thousands of murdered souls."

Seiya lifted his eyes. He could not hide this from her. " She……..Kakyuu……was murdered right in front of me." His voice was devoid from any spark at all." These-these…. things….beings….creatures……..claimed it in the act of purification. I was bewildered because the emotionless logic and reasoning that came from them were ludicrous. I almost thought it was a dream."

" Then I saw the reality of Kakyuu dangling in between their fingers in her web of pain. She was struggling to remain defiant, not showing them the sort of anguish they were putting her through. All the while I wanted to wake up."

" But I was wide awake. They murdered her and stole her soul….but her body………" Seiya swallowed a choke, the image was still fresh in his memory." Taiki…..Yaten……we all tried stop them in a desperate attempt. The way these things move and they way they fight……there's no way to explain it…..I can't….."

Seiya urged himself on." Taiki and Yaten…….we were rendered defenseless. We were nothing. I don't know what they did but…..something else happened when Kakyuu died. One came out from nowhere and grabbed me. I could do nothing but struggle when it held me by the wrist. A fire shot through me and I could only hear my screams mixing in with Taiki and Yaten's. It was like they were picking apart every inch of my being…..my mind and soul were laid out flat so they could pry in and out of it like locusts."

" Sailor Starfighter does not exist any longer. That warrior is dead….." Seiya's eyes narrowed tightly at the remembrance of his counterpart."……..She was murdered along with Kakyuu, Maker and Healer. That's how they did it. Pried into the very being that we were and destroyed that part of us, along with the device that enables us to transform. It was like having my soul ripped."

" They weren't finished though. I thought they were going to slaughter us, after all I was prepared to die. But that wasn't it. They wanted something else……something more….and they wouldn't let their grip loosen."

" I don't remember how the three of us got out of their grasp. We barely put any distance between them and ourselves. And Taiki……Yaten……" Seiya's voice faltered for a moment. He looked down as Usagi saw his fist clench tightly.

Usagi's heart was in her throat as she dreaded more. Every little detail was like a wave of misfortune that kept crashing into her.

" Absolutely defenseless, we tried to make an escape by heading towards the transportation chamber. Yaten had tripped and was unable to walk. So I ran a few steps ahead to hold the door to the stairs while Taiki helped him……..just then the beam above us crumbled. I tried to get to them but failed when the large stone separated us."

Struggling not to tremble, Seiya pounded a clenched fist into the floor." I was so pathetic and helpless. Raving for them on the other side as my fingers scratched the stone until they bled. Their last words………they told me to go………to leave them and save myself……."

" I couldn't do it but even with their desperate voices, Taiki and Yaten forced me to leave them. I felt blind as I made my way to the chamber. They were so close behind me. My lungs were about to burst as I kept running……I got away……but I've been running ever since."

Usagi's eyes were filled with tears at Seiya's words. [ Taiki…….Yaten…….no……. ]

" I'm hunted like an animal with a years worth of battle scars and a broken soul. This isn't living…..it's survival. And with every single encounter from place to place, I've barely escaped them in one piece. They've taken away things of such importance to me, the things that gave my life meaning."

" Seiya….." Usagi lamented as she looked at his vulnerable form. She went forward to reach for him again." You should have come to us sooner. We could have helped--"

" Help ?" Seiya gave her another bitter laugh." What's the meaning of that word ? Nothing can help me…..nobody can….."

Usagi choked back her spill of tears." Then why are you here ?" she demanded.

The moment those words left her mouth, Seiya felt his hardened barrier start to crack. She still didn't get it. [ ……because………I……… ] Seiya swallowed." To say goodbye."

Her tears spilled over her cheeks. Usagi shuddered. Seiya had been in a year of reckless survival. Nobody knew, nobody knew his pain and grief. She had no idea. In the condition she found him in, he must've had his latest encounter that proved almost fatal. And to say goodbye ? It frightened Usagi to think that Seiya had prepared himself to come to Juuban and die.

Seiya saw the look on her face as she tried to keep her voice still." Goodbye ?" Usagi said." So that's it ? You were just going to say goodbye by mingling in the shadows and preparing for death?!" Her voice began to rise. The utter scare that he was giving her was going to put her into hysterics." Seiya, I'm not to going to stand by and watch you like this !"

He looked up. This was not what he wanted. Seiya thought himself almost a complete fool for staying. His situation would drive Usagi and her Senshi to their deaths and he couldn't allow it.

" Usagi, no !" he said." The reason why I have to leave now is to not put you in danger ! I am a moving target ! They know EVERYTHING about me, how I move, how I think, how I do everything and mostly about the people I care about ! Kakyuu is dead ! So is Taiki and Yaten !" Seiya was looking into her tear filled eyes with a dilemma of his own." I can't…..I can't let you do this…….not you……" He held in a sob as he looked away. [ They can't take you away from me…..I'll never let them……. ]

Usagi reached for his chin. She gently pushed against his reluctance by lifting his face towards hers. All the pain and suffering had caused Seiya so much fear." Seiya……" she whispered." But I can't let you do this on your own. Seiya, do you know how much it scared me to hear you say that you were expecting to die ? It scared me." The notes in Usagi's voice were in his ears, so gentle.

" Please, let me help you." Usagi pleaded so hard with him. Seiya felt reluctance but he wanted to believe her so bad. They've went up against Galaxia, but that was different. He was dealing with something that Usagi didn't understand.

" It's a risk I'm willing to take…….for you." Seiya's eyes looked into hers as the last part of her sentence drifted out. [ …..for…..me……. ] His hand came up to touch hers.

Seiya didn't know what to do. Perhaps he should've asked for help. The risk was too high. If everything went wrong, the weight it would leave on his conscience would drive him to death. There was an angel in front of him, holding her hand out and telling him to take it.

Suddenly, Usagi saw something flash through his eyes. It was a slight change of emotion and was his answer. Seiya agreed with her silently but painstakingly. She gave him warm smile and pulled him into another embrace.

Seiya hugged her tightly, but promising himself that if anything at all went wrong, he would leave immediately without notifying them. This was one promise that he couldn't break. All of it was for Usagi.

Usagi whispered in his ear, her breath faintly fanning his earlobe," I'll help you end this……I promise….." Seiya just closed his eyes.