Fandom: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon: Sailor Stars (anime)
Date Finished:
Classification: Romance, Humor
Pairing: Seiya/Yaten, references to Taiki/Ami, Mamoru/Usagi, Haruka/Michiru  
Rating: NC-17
Note: Second successful SmutJar!Fic.* I also used a longer challenge (too long to fit in the SmutJar) to create this story, which involved trying to fit 36 "Things You’d Say When You’re Having a Bad Day" into the story. I didn’t manage to use all of them (I just couldn’t get some of them to work for a Sailor Stars story), but I *did* use 31 out of 36. Kudos to those who can pick out my own sarcasm from the lines ripped straight from the challenge.

Vivid
By Elsewhere
elsewherecw@shaw.ca

Disclaimer: The characters and story of BSSM are not mine. Oops. ;P

The lyrics are my own translation (as miserable as it may be ^_^;) of ‘Vivid’ by Fairy Fore.

Distribution: If you want this story for any page other than the ones I’ve sent it to, please ask me first, so I know where it goes.

Spoilers: Um…nothing much, really. *LOL* If you don’t know Sailor Stars, you won’t get this. ;P (You might not get it anyway. O_o)

*Note: I’ve always been the type to say, "I want to write these types of fics, and these pairings…but I don’t feel like it right now." On August 15th, 2004, I took a cue from my friend Miss Kalloway and decided to undertake a writing exercise to discipline myself to write the pairings and situations I want to write on demand instead of just whenever motivation happens to strike, which isn’t that often anymore. So, I created myself some smut jars (or plastic buckets, in this case). Into one jar goes dozens of little folded papers with various pairings written on them. Into another goes folded papers with challenges of every type collected from every challenge page I could raid (much thanks to Challenge_The_Muses and AdoptAPlotBunny). The idea is, once a day I sit down, draw one pairing and one challenge, and I am *required* to write something, even if it’s just a brief scene, using those cues. So began my exercise in disciplining myself…and this is the second fic that was born from that enterprise…

SmutJar Drawing(s) -     Opening Line: "It’s all about the seduction…"
            (Ch. 1)
            Situation: "A character overhears gossip. How
            will they react?" (Ch. 2)
            Situation: "A character accidentally reveals
            his/her desires when s/he’s overheard
            fantasizing in front of the mirror." (Ch. 3)

WARNINGS: Graphic f/f sexual situations, straight (gay?) ahead! Let’s see, what else…profanity, rampant OOC-ness for the sake of humor, unashamed presence of the ‘everyone is gay (except perhaps Usagi)’ cliché, references to graphic m/f sexual situations and buttsex! (how did that get in there!? Oh yeah, it was all Mamo-chan…the perv!!), REALLY ACIDIC HUMOR (some of these lines might wither your ovaries a bit, ladies), mild male-bashing, mild Mamoru-bashing (I love the guy, I really do ^_^), and…hm…what else…oh yes, abuse of controlled substances and slight abuse of Kakyuu’s much-touted regality. I think that’s about it. ^^;;;

Dedication. This story is for Steph, our own little Yaten, as a birthday treat. I hope you had a good one, Steph! ^_~

Legend:
Emphasis is shown with * *
Thoughts are shown with / /

Summary: Yaten really only wants one present for her twenty-first birthday, and she’s totally determined to get it by whatever means necessary!

Part One: "Something is starting…"

Glossary:
gomen - sorry
konbanwa - good evening
ouhi-sama - queen; your majesty

*****
My throat is parched, it’s terrible
It’s this fire in my chest
The moment I met your gaze was vivid
It’s like torture, I can’t endure it
Because I’ve fallen in love with you
Like you, I say "Ha!" to stereotypes
*****

"It’s all about the seduction…"

"Excuse me?" Yaten Kou raised her eyebrows as she lifted her head, looking around to see who had spoken. Her face froze into an expression of annoyance when she caught sight of her friend, the perpetual idol chaser Aino Minako, standing just across from her in the palace’s library and waving cheerfully.

"Konbanwa!" Minako chirped as she skipped over and joined Yaten at the table. Yaten sighed and closed her book, resigned to Minako’s presence; she wouldn’t be able to read with the energetic blonde around, and Minako was oblivious to any sort of hints about wanting to be left alone.

"What did you say, just now?" Yaten asked, frowning.

"I said, ‘It’s all about the seduction,’" Minako said with an innocent grin. When she saw the way Yaten’s eyebrows arched, her expression somewhere between confusion and the usual mild irritation, she chuckled. "Did you think I wouldn’t notice, Yaten-chan? You *are* talking to the Goddess of Love, here. I can spot these things easily."

"Notice *what*, Minako-chan?" Yaten said, tone going sour with increasing annoyance.

"What’s going on in this palace, of course, between you and a certain---"

Minako was cut off abruptly by the loud sound of Yaten smacking her book down against the table and getting to her feet.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about, Minako," Yaten said impatiently as she waved a careless hand in the air and started to walk quickly out of the library.

She grimaced, rubbing the bridge of her nose and trying to keep her eye from twitching when she heard the unmistakably mischievous sound of Minako’s chuckle as the blonde pushed away from the table and followed her out into the hall.

"You say that Yaten-chan, but only because you *obviously* don’t realize how blatantly apparent this whole thing is to absolutely everyone around you," Minako said teasingly as she sidled up next to Yaten. Yaten felt her eye twitch and balled her hand into a fist, entirely too tempted to flick Minako’s hand out of her way, when Minako lifted her finger and waggled it back and forth in front of Yaten’s face. "You can’t fool your friends, Yaten-chan."

"I don’t even know what ‘this whole thing’ might be, Minako-chan," Yaten said tiredly, running a hand back through her hair and rolling her eyes. "Now, would you please leave me alone? I have some work to do before dinner."

"All right, I’ll leave you alone…for now," Minako said with a little laugh and a wink that set Yaten’s other eye to twitching restlessly. "But don’t forget what I said, Yaten…especially my advice."

With that, the blonde flounced off down the hallway, high heels clicking, and Yaten watched her go, idly massaging her forehead to try to get her various ticks to calm down.

"What advice?" she muttered to herself. "Oh yeah, right… ‘It’s all about the seduction.’ Whatever…"

She opened her door and walked inside, only to make a face the moment she got into her living room.

"How many times do I have to flush before you go away?" she said bluntly as she tossed her book towards the room’s other occupant.

With lightning-quick reflexes, Seiya Kou got up from where she’d been relaxing on Yaten’s couch and caught the book just before it whammed her in the head.

"I resent that implication," Seiya said as she glanced at the spine of the book---garden variety olive trees; woohoo---and placed it aside. She looked up and grinned. "What, you got a problem with me being here?"

"I believe there was an idea behind calling these ‘private rooms’," Yaten said pointedly as she moved into her bathroom to freshen up.

"Haha, yes, well, I actually *did* come here for a reason," Seiya remarked, coming to lean against the bathroom door. She watched as Yaten brushed her hair and redid her ponytail. When Yaten glanced questioningly at Seiya’s reflection in the bathroom mirror, Seiya’s eyes flashed and she smiled. "Remember that little thing called your birthday?"

"I think I vaguely remember being born, yes," Yaten said, sounding bored as she finished with her hair and turned to Seiya, lifting an eyebrow. "Your point?"

"Remember how we’ve only got one day of planning left until the actual event? The celebration, of your birthday, that is," Seiya said, lowering her chin slightly to meet Yaten’s gaze evenly. "You know, the celebration that the entire complement of solar system senshi traveled all the way from Earth to Kinmoku to participate in? Is this ringing any bells?"

Yaten sighed, folding her arms over her chest.

"What about it?" she said, her tone making it clear that she was losing patience with Seiya.

"Well, we could kind of use your help with a few details, that’s all," Seiya said, by then looking a bit frustrated herself. "It is *your* birthday, after all."

"Seiya, if I had wanted to celebrate my birthday like this, I would have informed you of the fact," Yaten said, leveling her gaze at Seiya and offering a quick, somewhat brutal smile before she ducked away and started across the room.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Seiya said, lifting her hands. "Excuse me?"

Yaten turned back, lifting her eyebrows.

"Yes? What part of that did you not understand?" she said condescendingly, and Seiya’s cheek twitched with irritation.

"Well, aren’t we a bloody ray of sunshine today, as usual," Seiya growled as she ran a hand through her hair, by then obviously frustrated. "Honestly, would it kill you to be a little less acidic and accept the kindness of others? The last time ouhi-sama, Taiki and I spoke to you about this, you seemed fine with the plan."

"Yes…actually the plan is pretty much flawless," Yaten agreed, offering a caustic smile as she turned and pointed to Seiya. "The problem is *you*, Seiya."

"Wha…me!? Why? What are you talking about?" Seiya sputtered, pointing to her own chest, her cheeks turning red as she stared at Yaten. "What’d I do *this* time!?"

"Aw…did I step on your poor little-bitty ego?" Yaten asked, feigning concern before her face turned stony. "If you can’t figure it out, dumbass, you’d better do some serious thinking."

Seiya stared at her wide-eyed.

"You…are unreal!" she shouted finally, throwing her hands in the air. "Can’t you talk to me seriously for once!? If you’re really upset with me, I want to know why, damn it! Quit talking to me like some stupid kid or like I’m an idiot and just spit it out!"

Yaten shook her head, letting out a breath as she dropped to sit on her couch.

"Can’t do it, Seiya…it’s all part of the barter," she said as she gave Seiya another brief smile. "And sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

Seiya stared in silence for a total of two more seconds before she waved a hand in Yaten’s direction and raised her voice.

"You know what…fuck you!" she yelled, her face now totally red with anger as she turned on her heel and stomped over to the door.

"No thanks," Yaten called after her, sounding somewhat amused. "I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable."

That only really caught up in Seiya’s brain by the time she had slammed the door behind herself and was out the hallway, and when it did she stopped in place, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth, feeling the rage build through her entire body, culminating in a genuine physical sensation in her head like steam blowing out her ears. She thumped back over to Yaten’s door, tugged it open, and leaned inside.

"Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!" she shouted into the room before slamming the door once more with a resounding bang. She turned around and stalked off down the hallway, both hands fisted, shoulders moving back and forth in her irritation as she tried to keep from spewing the steam that was still building in her head out her nose.

All the way down the hallway, doors opened and heads peered out of various other bedrooms, most of the faces showing varying stages of shock. At a table at the end of the hall near the window, a young woman who had until then had her head buried in a book had snapped upright and was now staring after Seiya’s retreating figure, her eyes as wide as saucers behind her glasses.

"She seems very…stressed." Mizuno Ami chose to put the matter as delicately as she possibly could.

"Oh no, not at all," Taiki Kou, who was sitting across from Ami and had also been occupied with a book, remarked with a nervous chuckle. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet."

Ami stared at Taiki as she continued to giggle, that typical high-pitched ‘I-have-no-idea-what’s-going-on’ giggle, until suddenly her voice cut off and her expression became entirely serious, as though she had never been laughing in the first place.

"Seriously though," Taiki said flatly, and Ami resisted the urge to fall on the floor with her feet in the air. "I wouldn’t worry about it. They’ve been doing this for quite some time now."

"Doing…what, exactly?" Ami asked, instantly curious. "Fighting?"

"Heavens no," Taiki said, waving a hand in the air. "Flirting. Wasn’t it obvious?"

"Um…no?" Ami said, rubbing at the sweat drop that started to run down her temple. "It seemed quite brutal to me…"

"That’s how those two flirt," Taiki said, nodding sagely. "A strange courtship perhaps, but a courtship nonetheless. Nothing seems to say ‘mating call’ to Yaten quite like shouting, fighting, maiming and the occasional broken lamp."

By then Ami had her handkerchief out and was rubbing at her forehead.

"M-maiming, did you say?" she said, laughing nervously.

"Oh yes…sometimes it gets quite dangerous," Taiki said, leaning forward until Ami could see the whites of Taiki’s eyes to an unusual degree. She tried to lean back but felt herself trapped by the chair. "It’s quite…fascinating, really."

"Ahahaha…I’m sure it is," Ami said, rubbing so furiously she was probably taking off skin. "W…won’t you excuse me!?"

She got her feet quickly and ran down the hall, escaping into her room and locking the door behind herself. Just to be sure, she stood against the door for several moments, breathing heavily and staring around to make sure she was alone. She was seriously starting to wonder about the wisdom of this visit to Kinmoku. People here were…strange!!

*****

"Fighter, Fighter…calm down, please, and explain this to me a little bit more *slowly*," Kakyuu said with her usual calm as she watched, by way of her vanity mirror, her youngest senshi pace back and forth, well on her way to burning a trail on the queen’s finest carpet.

"But…but…it’s like I’ve been telling you, ouhi! First she…and then she…and then you remember last week!? She told me to take my Yell, and shove it up my---"

"Yes, thank you Fighter…I believe I can use my imagination from this point onward," Kakyuu said, rubbing her forehead as she sighed, closing her eyes. She tried to ignore the way the handmaid standing behind her, fixing her hair, seemed treacherously close to breaking out in giggles. "But I am afraid I still do not understand what you are *quite* so upset about. You and Healer have behaved this way together since you were small children."

"This is different, ouhi!" Seiya sniveled, stomping her foot childishly before she paced back across the room, her lower lip jutted out ridiculously. "She’s being really, really…mean!! I mean more than usual!! And she won’t listen to anything I have to say and she says *I’m* the problem and…and…"

Kakyuu sighed, dismissing her handmaid with a wave of her hand before she turned around and fixed the young Starlight with an even gaze.

"And what exactly do you expect me to do about it?" Kakyuu asked frankly, her eyebrows raising. "You two are *not* small children anymore, Fighter…I cannot step into every conflict that flares up between the two of you. You need to learn to resolve these matters yourself."

Seiya toed the carpet, sighing softly.

"I know…" she said reluctantly, and then she looked up at Kakyuu, mollified. "I’m sorry for whining, ouhi-sama."

"It is quite all right, Fighter," Kakyuu said, shaking her head. "I do genuinely hope that everything works out in the end."

She offered a smile, closing her eyes, and waited until she heard the door close behind her senshi before she turned and slammed her head down against her vanity.

"Great stars above," she muttered against the wood, glaring at her own squashed visage in the mirror. "If those two don’t hurry up and get it *over* with soon, I may have to give them some sort of imperial order…"

She trailed off, and after a moment started giggling madly to herself, envisioning all the various scenarios that could occur. Come to think of it, ordering her senshi to have sex with one another might actually be a lot of fun.

*****

Seiya sighed as she walked the halls, arms folded over her chest, forehead furrowed thoughtfully. She was determined to puzzle this out. Yaten had a problem, a genuine problem, and she *claimed* the problem was Seiya. Of course it was always possible that Yaten was lying, or just trying to pass off her own problems on someone else; that kind of thing happened occasionally, like when the stores ran out of Yaten’s favorite shampoo or sometimes when Aunt Flo came to visit. But somehow it felt like more than that this time.

So, what *was* it that had crawled so far up Yaten’s ass and taken hold? And what did it have to do with Seiya?

She was so busy concentrating her best and trying to figure the puzzle out that she didn’t even notice she was leaning against a door until it opened behind her, spilling her ass over teakettle into the room beyond.

"Wahh!" was her natural reaction to this.

"Seiya-chan!!" came the high-pitched, feminine voice in return, and Seiya glanced up to see---lacy, bright red panties. Her eyes widened, cheeks going slightly pink, and then she winced as she felt a bare foot smack down against her cheek. "Where the hell are you looking!?"

"G…gomen, Rei-chan," Seiya croaked out, and the foot slowly slid off her cheek as Hino Rei stepped back, smoothed out her skirt, and bent down to help Seiya up off the floor.

"What are you doing here, Seiya-chan?" Rei asked as she eyed Seiya up and down, taking in Seiya’s somewhat messy appearance. Two hours of pacing the halls, running her hands through her hair and dry-scrubbing her face, hadn’t done Seiya’s personal appearance too much good.

"I’m not too sure, actually," Seiya confessed, glancing around the guest room that was serving as Rei’s bedroom during her stay on Kinmoku. "I was out in the hall thinking, and I must have been leaning on your door without realizing it, and then…now I’m here!"

"I was just about to go out and find out what everyone was up to; I’m bored out of my mind and need some company," Rei said, and after sizing Seiya up once more she shrugged. "You’ll do, I suppose. What’s up?"

"Not much," Seiya said, shrugging in return. "Like I said, I was just thinking…"

"Hope you didn’t break anything," Rei interjected with a wink, and Seiya leveled a mild glare at her, to which she grinned.

"…You see, it seems that Yaten’s mad at me, and I’m trying to figure out why," Seiya finished, scratching her head.

"Oh, well that’s easy," Rei said, sighing as she plunked down on the end of her bed. "Is that all?"

Seiya blinked at her.

"What do you mean, easy? I’ve been trying all day to figure this out, and you think it’s *easy*?"

"Well yes…it’s absolutely obvious to anyone with half a working brain cell, after all," Rei said, rolling her eyes.

Seiya hung her head.

"Thanks," she muttered, and Rei chuckled.

"Well, except perhaps to you…you’re too close to the situation," Rei allowed, lifting a hand. "But Seiya-chan, honestly, if you can’t figure it out…"

She stopped, shaking her head and clucking her tongue against her teeth. Seiya cringed. To be considered pathetic by Rei meant a lifetime of relentless teasing.

"Well…can’t you at least give me a hint?" she asked, her tone pleading.

"No! Use your imagination!" Rei said, frowning. "Better yet, use your senses!"

With that she waved her hand, this time towards the door.

"Now go…you’re no fun at all," she said, making a shooing noise. "Go bother someone else…I’m going to go find some better company."

"B-but, Rei-chan…" Seiya began, only to be ignored as Rei opened the door and shoved Seiya out, shutting the door in her face.

"Come back when you’ve gained a brain, Seiya-chan," Rei called through the door, and Seiya stared at the door, fighting the urge to fall to her knees and sob about how nobody seemed to like her today.

*****

Yaten glanced up from her book when she heard a loud knock on the door.

"If that’s you, Seiya, I’m still not interested in your offer," she called, turning nonchalantly back to her book.

Of course, what she was really saying was, ‘Of course I’m interested in your offer. The one where you offered to fuck me, that is.’ However, since Seiya seemed to lack any subtlety at all---including the ability to pick up on it---she was starting to wonder if she’d be better off writing out such words on a big poster board and hanging it around her neck.

The knock came again, and she sighed loudly and got to her feet, moving over to the door and opening it. She opened her mouth to spew out another venom-laced Yaten-style pick-up line, but the moment she saw who it was at the door, she stopped, her mouth still hanging open as her face twisted into yet another of her semi-surprised, semi-irritated expressions.

"Um…whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed," Minako said, pointing to Yaten’s obscenely twisted face, and Yaten growled under her breath as she fixed her face back into its usual apathetic expression.

"Minako-chan…how lovely to see you," Yaten said, being sure to be as sarcastic as she possibly could and wincing as Minako grinned and waltzed into the room past Yaten. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I heard about what happened earlier between you and Seiya, and I came to cheer you up," Minako said, and then she giggled, a hand coyly over her mouth. "Not that you really need cheering up, of course, but my company is *never* a bad thing."

"Of course not," Yaten said with an edgy smile as she stepped towards Minako. Her eyes widened as she caught a whiff of a powerful---make that overpowering---scent. "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"

That set Minako off into a fresh round of high-pitched giggles, causing Yaten to cringe and cover her ears.

"Ah, Yaten-chan, you’re so *funny*!" she said, smacking Yaten on the shoulder, hard enough that Yaten stumbled forward a couple of steps before she caught her balance. Yaten turned to glare at Minako, but the blonde was already skipping farther into the small apartment, paying Yaten no mind. Yaten sighed, rubbing her forehead as she followed the other girl, who was carelessly moving towards Yaten’s bedroom.

Minako whistled when she got into the bedroom, staring around at the rich furnishings and the girly touches that made the room unique. The huge canopy bed and the floor-to-ceiling mirrors surrounding the room were just two signs that the owner of the room was a little high on ego.

"Not bad…not bad at all," Minako remarked as she took a seat on the bed, leaning against her hands and kicking her feet childishly. Yaten rolled her eyes before taking a seat next to the blonde.

"Thank you," she said, deciding for once not to make a rude comment.

Minako glanced out towards the balcony which led to the palace’s gardens.

"A nice view, too. And it seems remarkably quie…"

Just as she started to say it, a loud and unmistakable sound started to come from the other side of the wall behind Yaten’s bed. The moment she realized what she was hearing, Minako froze and her eyes widened as she turned to stare at Yaten, who grimaced and again rubbed her forehead tiredly. In the next second, Minako started giggling breathlessly into her hands, the sound mixing in with the noises from next door.

"Oh, Mamo-chan!!!"

"Ohhh, Usako!!!"

"Oh…oh…yes, right there, Mamo-chan!!"

"I…I can’t hold out much longer, Usako!!"

"Ju…just a little to the right, Mamo-chan!!"

"I…I’m so close, Usako!!"

"Ack!! That’s the wrong hole, Mamo-chan!!"

"Ahh…Usako, I’m coming…I’m…ahh!! Usako!!"

"Oh, Mamo-chan!!"

"Usako!!"

"Mamo-chan!!"

And so it continued for several more seconds before it finally fell quiet. Minako had by then collapsed back against Yaten’s bed and was flopping around, laughing so hard she was shaking the bed almost enough to imitate the activities of the couple next door.

"Oh my God!" Minako whispered when she’d finally regained enough composure to sit up and speak. "Do you have to listen to that every night!?"

"Lately, yes," Yaten said, her eyes closed as she rubbed her temples, trying to keep the nausea down. "Needless to say I’ve discovered the wonder of earplugs."

"That’s so…gross!" Minako burst out, still whispering and giggling. "Ew…especially him…I can’t believe men!!"

"Well, to be fair, not all men are annoying," Yaten pointed out, finally opening her eyes and sighing softly as she looked at herself in the mirror. "Some are dead."

Minako chortled and draped herself against Yaten’s side.

"So…did that…make you think of anything?" she asked, bringing up a finger to lightly touch Yaten’s chin.

"Yes, actually," Yaten said thoughtfully, and then she abruptly got to her feet. Minako let out a sharp cry as she was thrown off balance by the loss of Yaten holding her up and she spilled off the bed and onto the floor in a tangled heap of slender limbs.

"Um…what did it make you think of?" Minako asked as she sat up and rubbed her head.

"That when I do have sex, which I plan to do very soon, I’d actually like to do it in this room, on this bed, at a time when those two are in that room," Yaten said idly, an evil smile slowly coming to her lips as she pointed to the wall behind her bed. Minako blinked at her and then smirked, watching as Yaten rubbed her chin and chuckled, a truly worrying sound. "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"

Minako chuckled just as evilly back at her scheming silver-haired friend.

"No…I don’t think it’s wrong at all," she said, baby blue eyes flashing with mischief. "Ehehehe."

"Ehehehehehe," Yaten returned, wiggling her eyebrows as she stared at herself in the mirror, adjusting her hair to perfection.

"Ehehehehehehehehehehe," Minako laughed, getting to her feet and striking a trademark ‘Sailor V’ pose.

"Ehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!" Yaten finished with a snort for good measure, then turned to Minako, meeting her eyes. They came to a silent agreement and nodded before each taking a deep breath and turning.

"EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!!!!!!"

*****

END PART ONE